"depression is an intense feeling of sadness, Love is an intense feeling of joy, therefore depression is the opposite of love"
I am not a medical expert, I am not a Doctor, I am not a psychologist, but I am someone who has dealt with depression since I was 14, and most likely longer. Maybe this will help you understand what depression is, or maybe this will help you to cope a little bit better with your own depression.
I can't guarantee answers but I can guarantee that depression is different for everyone, so my own experiences may not be helpful to you, but I can tell you that depression is real, and you are not crazy.
When I say I dealt with depression, I wouldn't say I dealt with it, didn't even know myself what it was or that I had it, but at times I knew I was sad, just didn't understand why. I felt so many times that I was crazy for thinking there something wrong with me when I had no reason to be sad. Yes, that reply we have all heard from someone, something we tend to say and think about ourselves as well.
That reply is the worst thing you can say to anyone who has depression, instead of helping, it actually makes us feel worse because we do not understand why we are feeling sad, we just are, as past experience of mine on this page shows you.
What is the cure for depression?
Sorry to say, but I don't believe there is a cure for depression, yes there certainly is tablets or other medical options that may help you. All I can say is, I took fluoxetine for a period of time around 2002 I think it was, it truly helped, I felt great and better than I had in a long time. However, I am intelligent enough to realize that it was the tablets making me feel that way, and I truly wasn't any better.
That paragraph sounds very depressing eh? Yes I realize it does and yes that was a bad pun, but there is hope for us that have depression.
There is hope
"You have to recognize that you are always going to have depression, but you can learn about it and instead of focusing on a complete life with depression, learn to deal with the individual moments."
In 2003, I moved into my very first flat and I made a conscious effort that I will never allow depression to get the better of me, I was never going allow depression to make me take 50+ tablets after drinking a bottle of whiskey again, it was never going to happen again.
I started a very long path on trying to understand my depression and what I could do to help myself, I didn't understand depression but I understood that I had control over myself, I made my own decisions.
My Life Situation Was Lucky
Now I was lucky enough to be in a position where I wasn't married, I was single and I had no kids dependent on me, I was also self-employed and was my own boss, this was a position I put myself in, something that was greatly helpful, as I had the flexibility to do this, something I realize not everyone can do.
However, within the confines of your life, I suggest finding a way to do this as soon as you can, find time for yourself doing something that you really enjoy doing, something that makes you happy and gets you laughing.
The reason why I suggest doing this is when I would realize I felt down and sad, then I would just write the day off and go lie on the sofa, eat some snacks and watch some of my favourite TV shows. Yet again, I stress that was my own boss and had the ability to just write the day off, it was not like I was going to fire myself.
Why does this work is a fair question? Why did I do it?
The answer is simple, I realized that depression was going to happen and I had no control over when it happens, guess you could say, I accepted depression in my life, but I could control what I did after it landed. So I did something I find positive and it would help me train my mindset into being able to get up the following day, with the thought of a brand new day, let's go.
Don't see how this helps? Yes, I can understand that, read on.
I would sometimes feel like a failure on that day for not doing something productive, but I stuck with it, and eventually, after much time, the following happened.
One day, I was working at my computer on one of my web projects, then I had that same sad feeling, so I decided to do the usual, spend the rest of day watching friends DVD's and write that day off. Well before the second episode had even finished, I was back at my computer working again and it suddenly hit me that I was at computer, so much so I actually comically pushed my chair back and rolled away from computer saying wow and just totally stunned.
Now if this was a movie, I would probably write I then broke down in tears and cried my eyes out, well this is real life, I smiled and went back to work. As I was working, I realized that the same thing that had just happened, had actually been happening for quite a while, I was just so lost in my work, that I hadn't realized.
I can't guarantee the same result will happen for you, but the writing the day off approach and doing something that made me happy worked so well for me, that eventually, I found the moments when depression hit did not have the same hold over me like it once did. No longer was the day completely written off, I was more just taken a break and hitting reset so to speak, then back to work after I spent time watching something that made me laugh.
I kept this moment in my mind as a badge of honour really, I still get depressed and some days can still be really tough when I feel overwhelmed, but I remember my badge of honour and it helps me get through the moments when depression hits me.
You have to remember, if you think about depression and your complete life, it will overwhelm you, if you accept you will have moments of sadness and break your life down into moments, you can find yourself controlling your depression, rather than the depression controlling you.
I still have my rough days and I can go from hot to cold in an instant when something goes wrong, but this world is not built on perfection, the world just doesn't work like that, we are not perfect and our lives will never be perfect, but when we get through each moment and then each day, we have achieved. With this attitude, I have found that I have many more good moments than I used to, granted it took a long time to get there.
Yet again, I am not a doctor or a psychologist but I have found what I stated here worked for me, I recognize everyone's situation is different and you may not able to do exactly what I did to help myself, but maybe you can use my own story and find your way to master your depression.
A Past Experience
Now am someone who doesn't like being around a lot of people, I just feel uncomfortable and am a little shy. The reason why I bring that up is when I was in my early teens, I would go to my Aunt and Uncles at Christmas for a family dinner, at least I think that is why I was there, certainly a family event of some kind.
What I do remember is, I was in tears and my mum was asking me what was wrong, my Aunt was noticeable upset as well. This happened on two separate occasions but I don't remember if I said anything in reply to my mum, I may have said I don't know, as I didn't know what was wrong with me.
I don't have a great memory and at the time of writing this am 40, so for me to still remember these two events today, then that shows how significant they are to me.
What was actually wrong with me was I felt uncomfortable being around a lot of people, and I knew that without knowing it. I can look back on that time and understand my feelings now, however at that time, I didn't understand that but I knew I was sad, so therefore the tears of confusion because I couldn't understand why I was sad.
This is depression for me, it happens but we are not always aware of what triggered it, we just become aware of feeling sad but we generally never understand exactly why we feel sad.